Hi Girls, look what I've just seen tied to Jean's pole:(or is it that blooming chilly snake again?)

"Message from the Head of Marquees (which are ALL now firmly CLOSED to the entire NRAS team)

NO NRAS team members may approach the marquees as they have NO idea how to behave when near one.

All team members must be at the rear of the main marquee at 7a.m sharp on Sunday morning, carrying such items of clothing as they deem fitting for a mass exit from the country. NOTE NO tassles will be permitted on the dog sleds (H and S rule 1007, para 12, subsection 34, item 48a)

All props (commode, trays, snake, alcohol; etc) will be confiscated prior to loading said team on dog sleighs for a run to the airport. Dogs may not be fed excess chocolate, cake or other banned goodies.

MH and Co have been denied entry to Canada due to their continued inability to sit quietly without wreaking havoc at every opportunity. They are to be denied entry to every country where havoc is routinely frowned upon. Currently they are tied up in a hangar in UK, and are enjoying attention from aircrew who have nothing better to do.

All team members will be frisked by Mounties on entering the dog sleigh area. Those resisting WILL be returned to the igloo to cool off; those seen to be too thrilled at the prospect of being frisked by Mounties will be sent on foot to Hudson Bay to inspect and count the Polar bears

Lylie and Mary will be held hostage by Mounties and only returned when all team members have completed their sentences in Rehab on their return to UK. If seen to be enjoying their captive state, they will also join the polar bear expedition.No protests on health grounds will be entertained.

All Olympic countries will be notified of the depravity and appalling behaviour of this team, and will be advised to refuse entry.

NO APPEALS WILL BE CONSIDERED.

COO blimey, anyone'd think we are a right bad lot!!

Bags me first in queue for frisking ( don't PUSH, Mary!!!) What ARE we going to do with all the spare tassles, girls, and the wellies??? MH will normally eat anything, so we could pack 'em up, take 'em back to Blighty, and see if he will......................but wellies???? hmmmmmmm..........probably not!
And why should we have to count their blooming polar bears, can't they just sort of tell them to catch and submit one fish each, or something, and lie them all out on a beach somewhere?
It's just so unfair, I only just got here and they're throwing me out eventually too.................and why do I have to stay behind as a hostage with the Tart, that's beyond me. Must be 'cos WE know how to get the best out of a Mountie????????

And don't forget the newly washed, beautifully scented, ski socks Kathleen! I'm with you on this .. okay so there have been one or two problems that needed ironing out and the odd snake to defrost but all in all I think we've done a grand job. As for counting polar bears I mean, penguins okay, I have a penchant for chocolate bars, but bloomin' polar bears??? Not likely!!! Hold on tight to the bobsleigh, a fair bit of trading went into that exchange I'll go and see if I can gather the team. Be right back ...

Imanaged to avoid getting thrown out of the fire services tent when I fainted from dehydration (well, it was actually when I saw that hunky fireman changing his shirt).
They didn't have any water but have a plentiful supply of wine so gave me that instead.
I think I will have to stay here till I recover , it might take a while...(hic!).

Since Amanda sprung me from rehab (don't worry I've got a good supply of pills), guess where we've been, yes girls we've been hiding out with the lovely Canadian Mounties we bumped into them at a Flamenco dance. I have warned them about you girls being a bit on the adventurous side, or should I say reckless with the sledges and bobsleighs and said we are likely to need a squad of Mounties as back -up, especially as I know some of you might need to be dug out from the mountains and will possibly need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation

Lyn and Kathleen WE'VE GOT THE SNAKE, and he's staying with us, as I don't want to the animal activists on our tail, poor snake is having trouble defrosting and is in a sorry state!

Julie what pills are you on, not the multi coloured ones that make you hallucinate?

Lylie, sorry I couldn't make the deadline, please accept my appeal I was afterall being detained against my will and only got out because of Amanda.

I think we need to have a serious chat with Jean about her dress code, she's already had a telling off from the nice fireman the ones that Doreen found so helpful. Do you think we could get her to tone down a bit?

I don`t mind helping with the escape - Lyn said she`d be happy to help me. Between you and me, she`s taken a real fancy to the bobsleigh, & is talking of getting a four-man bob for herself.

I`m glad the snake is being looked after by Amanda & Barbara - Jean was really unkind to it, and they`re very sensitive creatures. I think it curls up every time it hears Jean`s voice.

Your poor hair, Eleanor - I do hope it grows quickly. I know the people in the marquee thought your pleated hat meant you were a chef, but you should have explained, and then you wouldn`t have had to make all those sandwiches. Still, it was handy that you smuggled some out for us, I can`t remember the last time I had a proper meal, though we always seem to have plenty to drink.

I have persuaded Julie to come down from her flagpole, but Doreen reckons she`s still too dehydrated to leave the firemen - a likely story! If we could all meet up at 11 0` clock. Make sure you all give the password, which is ******, and don`t forget the secret signal.

Until then,

Kathleen x

...........and the secret signal is even worse

I am disgusted to report that late last night, Kathleen, Doreen, Lizzie, Amanda and Jenni were being detained by the mounties for making lewd signs outside their headquarters - one incidentally, with the assistance of a snake. Lyn and Eleanor were too drunk to take part in the ensuing mayhem!

Well I am here! How dare anyone think that Lyn and I were drunk! We were merely becoming familiar with the unfamiliar password using the remainder of the pernod to wash out our mouths. So now we have to spring the gang from the mounties station, may as well collect them all with the bob sleigh as Lyn says that she has a key. Strange looking key which looks more like a piece of wire! Are you sure that is the key Lyn?

So off we go, slow down Lyn, my pigtails are flying everywhere! Wooo!

Eleanor x

WOOOOO, WHEECH

Hey Eleanor, look, Jean's got a photo of us on the bobsleigh!! Don't we look the biz? But hold up, that's not our 'bob' it's someone's old tray. Kathleen ain't going to be pleased if we've lost the 'bob'

But .... I really don't feel at all well, must be something I drank because as sure as eggs is eggs don't think I've eaten anything Eleanor? You awake? Where are my wellies?? Someone's half inched my sparkly wellies!